Dear Readers,
What a day today was — just… I have no words.
I woke up early, that uneasy kind of early that only Mondays can bring. It was the day — the day I’d find out whether I got the job or not. My morning was filled with dread, panic, anxiety, and everything in between. I couldn’t sit still, but at the same time, I didn’t want to move either. I tried to distract myself with a book, but even the words refused to stick. So, I said “forget it” and threw myself into work much earlier than usual.
By 8:15 AM, I was already knee-deep in tasks, meetings, and checklists, anything to keep my mind busy. But as the hours ticked by, my anxiety grew heavier. By noon, I had done everything possible — and still, no email. My partners were all busy with their own lives: Bisa was dealing with family matters, Woe was chatting with her partner, and Angel was asleep after her night shift. That left me alone with my thoughts, spiraling and overthinking every scenario possible.
The minutes felt like hours. I even started panic-applying for jobs again because I truly believed I didn’t get it.
And then — ding.
An email. From them. My heart stopped for a second before I opened it, and when I did… I screamed.
I GOT THE JOB.
I jumped up, ran around the house, searching for my dad while shouting the words over and over again until I found him in the kitchen. The second I saw him, everything I’d been holding in crashed out — the kind of sobbing that steals your breath, with fat tears and snot and shaking knees. Every ounce of fear and weight lifted all at once, and my body couldn’t even handle the relief.
Then came the calls. First to my mom, who started screaming with joy the moment she heard the words. Then to my old boss, Jule — my mentor and the person who taught me everything that led me to this very moment. She was beyond proud and told me she had seen the job posting and hoped I had applied. Finally, I called my grandma, who screamed so loud her phone could barely pick it up.
It was one of those moments you dream about — pure joy, pride, and relief colliding all at once.
But that high was bittersweet. When I saw my dad later, I could see the sadness in his eyes. He’s still searching for work, and I could tell my joy hurt him in ways he didn’t mean. It’s hard to celebrate freely when the people you love are struggling. At home, I had to contain it — tuck my excitement into quieter smiles.
When Bisa came back from his family call, he was in a rough place too. I toned myself down again, offering comfort instead of celebration. He’s happy for me — I know that — but he’s carrying his own worries, and I’ll always be there for him.
The universe, though, has a funny way of balancing chaos and comfort. Because today was also the day his birthday and Christmas gifts arrived. Every hour I probably annoyed him with, “Has the box come yet?”
Finally, it did — twenty minutes before I had to head in for work. Inside was the custom light I’d ordered for him, perfectly intact despite a crinkle in the box. I’d even sprayed it with my body spray before sending it, so when he opened it, the smell hit him instantly — my smell. He loved it. I also had him open the hoodie I’d been waiting months to send. The look on his face, the way he smiled and kept smelling it… it made every stressful day worth it. I think I’m going to have to send him the spray now, just so he always has a piece of me near him.
After that, it was back to work. Two pool locations, a few last checks — and then I clocked out early. I had dinner plans with my mom to celebrate. My dad and brother went to the Sounders game, so it felt like the perfect time for a mother-daughter evening.
We went through three different restaurant options before we found a neighborhood bar that was open. They had the best pizza and mozzarella sticks, and because it was a bar, I got carded for the first time — which made me laugh. I ordered a lemon drop (my favorite), and we talked, laughed, and watched the Sounders game on TV.
On the drive back, though, my mom’s driving nearly gave me a heart attack. She missed a turn, flipped around in the middle of the road, and ended up halfway on a sidewalk trying to avoid another car. Then she pulled up to an empty house with all the lights on and told me to “stay in the car” while she went to check if anyone was squatting there. I immediately texted Woe, Bisa, and Angel: “If I get murdered, I’m with my mom.”
Thankfully, she came back fine, and we drove the rest of the way home — passing through what we call “Hooker Lane,” which, well… lived up to its name. Let’s just say I saw more than I ever wanted to on a Monday night.
Finally, I got home, kicked off my shoes, and let the day catch up with me. My heart rate slowed, my mind quieted, and the sleepiness began to sink in.
It’s been a roller coaster of emotions — panic, joy, sadness, love, relief, and exhaustion all rolled into one wild Monday. But through it all, I’m just… grateful.
Grateful for the opportunity. Grateful for the people who supported me. Grateful for the reminder that even after endless waiting, sometimes the “yes” you’ve been hoping for really does come.
Until next time,
— Monique
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